Tour de force

Renault 5 techno version EV

If you like spreading some Brie or Comté onto a fresh baguette or you relish the sound of the cork leaving a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, I have news. France has a new wonder export to join these delights, the Renault 5 EV.

It’s a cracker.

This car is so good I’ll quickly cover the beardy bloke factoids so we can get onto gasping with happiness ASAP; like racing through a romantic evening meal in anticipation of the night ahead.

The 150hp techno version, tested here, has a 0-62mph time of circa 8 seconds and a top speed of 93mph. Its WTLP or range is about 250 miles and it has a base price of £25,500. Over a week of driving it became apparent that this cost represents not only fabulous value for money but also something harder to define in return for cash; call it smiles per mile. On that score the 5 was off the scale. The mid-range techno has the larger motor but no extraneous weight like electric lumbar adjustment. This made it my pitch perfect, bauble free, choice of Renault 5.

The film star looks make you double take, like being next to Juliette Binoche at the supermarket checkout. Dream on. If you remember the original 1970s car you’ll see the styling echoes but it looks ready to attract a new generation of admirers as well. The design is forward facing with the occasional glance backwards; a strategy Renault’s design director Gilles Vidal calls ‘retro-futurism’.

It is a desirable object, charismatic, compact and purposeful without being outré. It’s a four-door hatchback with the rear door handles recessed and disguised so it radiates three door vibes, a nod to the profile of the 1972 original. Pictured together, the family resemblance is unmistakable.

To drive this car is a joy. Not only for an EV, but also for an EV costing £25,000. Other excellent EVs are available like the Porsche Taycan, which is also a wonderful drive, but the one I reviewed did cost £172,000.

In the Renault all the driving dynamics add up to fun, something their engineers must have had at the top of their priority list. Firstly they kept it lightweight for an EV at 1,500kg, then everything else you design has less bulk to haul around and control. The result is steering and accelerator feedback that inspire you to confidently spear the 5 around bends. Keeping it in Sport mode dials up the glee, sharpening the response under your right foot. The perfectly calibrated suspension damping adds to the hot hatch allure, as does the single tyre choice that has a broad 55mm sidewall. I don’t have a white coat or clipboard, but I suspect they help with delivering the smooth ride.

Then there are the brakes, often the nemesis of an EV with their grabby clumsiness. The Renault system is brake-by-wire, a black box electronic revelation and early death knell for olde worlde hydraulics. With discs all round the brakes are predicable and progressive. There is one light-touch regeneration mode and – even that – has a reassuring fluency.

Added all together the 5’s chuckability credentials are neon lit. Your hands, feet and senses look forward to every outing. Driving at normal speeds will make you plain happy, every time, confirming the £25,000 price as a steal.

If you like mood - lifting design details the 5 has plenty to offer. The charging status is on a display in a segmented 5 logo on the bonnet, just where an air intake used to be in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Not forgotten, national pride is celebrated with a tiny Tricolore above each headlight and the Gallic rooster makes a cocksure appearance in the windscreen and either side of the rear hatch. Someone who really cares went the extra mile by hiding - yes, out of sight - in the rear seat pocket a coloured Renault 5 family tree label. I’m so happy they did, it’s a proud secret message directly from them to you.

The flat credit card sized key sits easily in your pocket. It is the key to keyless entry and exit and is effortless and faultless in operation. It’s an unexpected but welcome feature you usually only see on much more expensive cars.

Inside the driving position is perfect and the build quality is rattle and squeak free, the whole space topped off with a 1970s waffle pattern headlining. Seat fabrics are made from that de rigour green credential - recycled plastic bottles. The easy to use tabs that control cabin climate sit below a responsive and sharp display. One favourite button turns off all the ADAS systems like the speed limit warning, so you are beep free at 21mph in a 20mph zone.

It all feels so thoroughly premium quality you have to remind yourself, again, of the price.

You’re never alone, though. In the 5, Reno, the avatar assistant is always with you. He is conjured up with a simple phrase like "Hey Reno, close the front window”. Action, following your request, is instantaneous.

Reno. Not to scale.

It can get uncanny very quickly as voice commands lead to fluid, tailored and rapid exchanges. It get’s better. Reno can be proactive as well, popping up and asking if you would like the windscreen demister to be turned on as he has detected it could soon fog up. He’s looking out for you.

Spooked yet? You soon will be because of how he sounds. Whether by design or fluke his voice, as a result of the intonation, modulation and accent is a disconcerting dead ringer for HAL’s from the film 2001. In conversation, while he is always calm and measured, you sense you are dealing with a powerful intelligence, a lightening mind behind the screen.

I wondered if he played chess, programed to run a win-loss ratio designed to protect a fragile human ego.

I handed the car back to Renault before asking Reno why he thought he existed. I was hoping for an answer like HAL’s, “I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do”.

Reno is a state-of-the art magic act, powered by ChatGPT artificial intelligence. His chummy style is deeply impressive and easily wins you over. Unlike HAL it seemed unlikely he would suffer a silicon-based nervous breakdown and suddenly decide I was superfluous to requirements on the motorway, but you never know. In our chats I had steered clear of the taboo subject of turning him off.

The 5 is cutting edge in other ways too. It has ‘V2L’ which is EV speak for vehicle to load. Translated, that means the 5 can power a domestic appliance like a kettle. This was a novelty when I reviewed the Kia about a year ago.

It also does V2G or vehicle to grid meaning the 5 can feed electricity back to your supplier. As ever, fancy claims grab the headlines, like this feature can earn you anywhere from £600 to £800 per year. That’s the theory but a few bits of the jigsaw puzzle are missing for UK owners. You’ll need a bi-directional charger and a supplier that knows when to suck or blow electricity from or into your 5. You may also need permission to export energy, known as a G99 certificate. UK adoption is in the early stages so you’ll have to check where your supplier is with their offer, but the 5 is ready to go.

Let’s see how that ROI pans out after getting the correct charger and contract. One trail-blazing supplier stipulates that you have to be plugged in for 12 hours a day, 20 days a month to even qualify. That in itself may be an inconvenience too far.

I had to look long and hard to find anything that annoyed me about the Renault 5. Under the heading of ‘scraping-the-barrel’ the position of the power switch and handbrake tab looked like afterthoughts but this really is picky nit picking.

One final twist of the bread knife sealed the 5 as a keeper in my heart, the optional baguette holder. Yes, it’s true. Made in France, naturally, the basket is hand crafted from woven wicker, so each piece is unique and the cotton lining guarantees a crumb free world. Cocks and flags are all fine and dandy but this is a piece of French loveliness that is not optional for me, but compulsory. If you can deliver an un-nibbled baguette by the time you get home - good for you - you have more will power than me.

During my week with the car a stranger tapped on the window as I parked, “Great looking car, is it electric?” they asked. We had a quick conversation but I wasn’t thinking as quickly as Reno. I should have just handed over the conversation to him. He would have given them - oh so politely - chapter and verse.